Nintendo’s Grand Legal Adventure: The Tale of Jesse “Pirate” Keighin
In a plot twist that could rival the most dramatic Nintendo games, the gaming giant triumphantly triumphed in a lawsuit against Jesse Keighin, known in the pixelated underworld as “Every Game Guru.” What did he do to deserve such a legal reckoning? Why, only the not-so-simple crime of playing and streaming pirated games — basically acting like a kid who steals candy and then dares the store owner to stop him.
Streaming Games Before They’re Cool
Since the dawn of 2022, Keighin has been on a streaming spree involving “at least 10 of Nintendo’s leaked games.” The grand finale? A little number called Mario & Luigi: Brothership. Not content with just gaming, Keighin has managed to stream these illicit gems over 50 times. Bravo, really! That dedication to piracy is almost commendable.
But wait — there’s more! Someone must have told him that subtlety is key, because he apparently thought it wise to taunt Nintendo with a bragging letter claiming he had “a thousand burner channels.” One can only wonder how many he had parked in his virtual garage. As if that wasn’t enough, he apparently took to Facebook to inform Nintendo’s lawyers they should choose their battles wisely, saying, “Should have done more research on me. You might run a corporation, I run the streets.” Ah yes, the ultimate showdown: corporate giants versus a brawny street gamer.
A Comedy of Legal Errors
Fast forward to April 2025, when Nintendo, a company apparently fueled by a combination of determination and coffee, filed yet another motion, stating that Keighin had “evaded service” of the complaint. Spoiler alert: he was eventually served via email and letters sent to his family. Nothing says “I’m now a legal target” quite like a mom getting involved.
When Keighin failed to respond to the court, the office staff must have thought they were in a sitcom, entering default against him on March 26. By this point, it seemed like the only thing Keighin had successfully managed to avoid were serious legal repercussions, but alas, Nintendo wasn’t about to let that slide. They requested a default judgment for a cool $17,500 in damages. A hefty price for a few streams — but then again, he did live the pirate life.
The Verdict: A Win, but with a Twist
Surprise! A Colorado federal court granted Nintendo’s plea, confirming the $17,500 fine. However, not all requests sailed smoothly into the sunset. The court squashed Nintendo’s appeal to forcibly “destroy all circumvention devices,” deeming it “unclear” and “unreasonable.” Clearly, the judge must have been a fan of DIY projects; who wouldn’t want to have nebulous legal jargon cluttering up their garage?
Furthermore, Nintendo had dreams of casting a net over the “third parties” who may have assisted Keighin. However, those dreams were dashed when the judge went, “Cool story, but who are these mysterious accomplices?” Apparently, supervillains have better-defined teams.
The Price of Piracy
Despite the legal haze, Nintendo didn’t exactly press for maximum damage. Sure, they could have gone for a staggering $100,000 (after all, that’s only $10,000 per game). But instead, they chose to go “light” with the request of just $10,000 for the latest infringement and a mere $7,500 for the other sneaky circumventions. A true display of restraint — or perhaps an odd sense of humor.
In a twist reminiscent of a Mario game, Nintendo claimed that Keighin’s blatant streaming of their titles before they officially hit the shelves warranted this reasonable amount. They decided to show mercy by not seeking damages for the other nine games he pilfered. Quite the concession for a company known for its green pipes and red hats!
In conclusion, Keighin’s saga serves as a charming reminder that a quick path to internet fame can sometimes lead to a courtroom showdown, even if it’s not quite as exciting as finding a hidden star in a level. Game on, legal world!
