When Gaming Greatness Meets Government Gripes
Ah, the sweet sound of success! It’s like winning the lottery right before finding out you owe Uncle Sam a hefty chunk. Dan Houser, that stalwart co-founder of Rockstar Games, seems to think his gaming masterpieces turned them into the US government’s favorite punching bag. Imagine being so successful that people start waving pitchforks at you instead of applauding—what a delightful predicament!
From Children’s Toys to Grown-Up Thrills
In a thrilling tête-à-tête with The Chris Evans Breakfast Show on Virgin Radio, Houser recounted how the gargantuan success of Grand Theft Auto 3 and its sequels made parents throw their hands up in horror, as if a band of marauding teens was snatching their lunch money. Once upon a time, video games were viewed as harmless fun for kids; then came the awakening, declaring gaming as a serious pastime for ‘adolescents and grown men’—who, let’s face it, are merely grown-up kids at heart. After all, who wouldn’t want a virtual life of crime and mayhem?
Success: The Double-Edged Sword
When asked whether the age-old adage “success solves all problems” applied to their situation, Houser adopted a tone reminiscent of an exasperated school teacher. “Nope,” he proclaimed, dousing the hopes of anyone looking for a fairy tale ending. Instead of a golden ticket, the success of GTA birthed a cornucopia of cricket bats aimed squarely at Rockstar’s backside. “Success created loads of problems!” he exclaimed, as if unveiling the latest flavor of ice cream nobody asked for but somehow made headlines.
What Kind of Problems, You Ask?
When Evans pressed for specifics, Houser launched into a captivating tale of governmental drama, claiming the US government practically knocked down their doors, wielding torches and pitchforks. Apparently, somehow, the government decided video games were the sinister underbelly of society, as if they were the masters of a vast pornography empire. “What a ridiculous conclusion!” said Dan, and who can blame him? The mere notion that they were at the forefront of a public decency crusade was laughable.
Choosing the Right Bogeyman
Ah, the classic ‘let’s scapegoat video games’ maneuver! According to Houser, the backlash was fueled by a coalition of centrist Democrats, possibly in search of a new, shiny bogeyman to distract the masses. “Hollywood’s too rich to pick on, and rap music? Well, that brings a whole set of complications,” he quipped. So naturally, the best target for their ire was video games, which were about as misunderstood by the government as algebra is by a cat.
Those Terrible Idiots! Wait, That’s Us!
“So, a bogeyman?” Evans queried, barely containing laughter. “Someone to point at, saying ‘look, we’ve got these real problems…’” “Exactly! The ruling class had their fingers ready to wag and declared the gaming industry the perfect idiots,” Houser replied with a smirk. Talk about a badge of honor!
The Infamous ‘Hot Coffee’ Fiasco
While Houser didn’t name specifics about their run-in with big government, one could easily infer he was referring to the notorious ‘Hot Coffee’ debacle. As luck would have it, modders dug up a hidden mini-game in the code of GTA San Andreas that made parents clutch their pearls. Despite being nearly impossible to find during actual gameplay—because who doesn’t love a good challenge?—the ESRB rebranded the game from “Mature” to “Adults Only,” effectively sending retailers into a frenzy, and many pulling it from their shelves like it was a dodgy salad.
Corrective Steps and the $50 Million Consequence
Not content with a simple reclassification, the Federal Trade Commission decided to dance in the rain with Rockstar and Take-Two, announcing a consent order that, while sparing them from fines, still slapped a refurbishing duty on them. The re-edit and re-release of the game certainly made it clear that attention to detail in the gaming universe comes at a steep price—around $50 million, no less. Now that’s a costly crisis management plan!
