Guess Who’s Back in the Console Game?
Picture this: it’s the 1980s, and video game fans are absolutely glued to their CRT TVs, probably leaving their social lives in the dust. Fast forward to today, and Atari—yes, that Atari—is resurrecting nostalgia with a twist: it’s unveiling a console sporting the Intellivision branding.
The Reboot Nobody Knew They Needed
For those who’ve been living under a rock, the Intellivision (‘because regular television wasn’t smart enough’) made its grand debut in 1979. Back then, it threw down the gauntlet, sparking the very first video game console war against the Atari VCS (which later went all fancy and rebranded itself as the Atari 2600). Ah, simpler times when video games were made of pixels and hopes.
The Big Announcement
In a shocking twist worthy of a daytime soap opera, Atari scooped up the Intellivision brand in 2024, effectively sending the first console war packing and declaring a truce of sorts. Enter the Intellivision Sprint—an updated console that’s about to hit shelves like the hotcakes of Avalon’s 1982 bakery. Mark your calendars for December 5 in the USA and Australia or December 23 for all those European gamers missing out on the joy of overpriced nostalgia!
The Price of Nostalgia
Now, in a world where everything is ludicrously pricey, this little gem will set die-hard fans back a cool $149.99 or £99.99. What a steal! For that price, players will not only receive the console but also the glorious thrill of revisiting 45 classic Intellivision titles all crammed in there like the last few slices of pizza at a party.
Hey Look! It’s Like the Old Days!
The Intellivision Sprint isn’t just a cheap Halloween costume of its predecessor. No, no, it boasts HDMI output so that today’s ultra-modern TVs can assist in broadcasting vintage pixelated glory. And let’s not forget the mandatory USB port for “library expansion,” which sounds fancy, but is likely just a gateway to more 80s gems (or a ruse to collect passwords from unsuspecting gamers).
Blast from the Past: Game Overlays!
Ah, the controller: a uniquely designed masterpiece complete with a round dial and a 12-button keypad, looking more like a bizarre telephone than a serious gaming device. But hold onto your joysticks! Each game came with a card overlay that sat on top of the keypad, reminding gamers how to press all the right buttons instead of just mashing in confusion.
And to truly embrace this nostalgic madness, the 45 games on Intellivision Sprint will come armed with a pair of card overlays—because what’s more fun than shuffling through flimsy cards while desperately trying to remember how to throw a baseball in a 1979 digital wasteland?
Words from the Higher-Ups
Atari’s VP of tactical game operations (or whatever grand title his parents gave him) had a few words to share: “We’re thrilled to celebrate Intellivision’s 45th anniversary! What better way to honor this iconic brand than by resurrecting it for fans to have a good laugh at?” Because really, who wouldn’t want to experience a blast from the past in wireless form?
For the Curious Gamers
For those on the fence about diving into this throwback, fear not! Players itching to learn more about the illustrious world of Intellivision can check out the interactive compilation released by Atari and Digital Eclipse back in 2022. It’s like an interactive museum but with more pixels and less dust. After Atari made sure they owned everything worth mentioning—including the Digital Eclipse in 2023—they dropped a DLC called “The First Console War,” because naming things creatively is apparently too mainstream.
